Brian's Ramblings

briansilva @ 2006-07-16T13:22:00

2006-07-16T17:23:14Z

Nerd Moment:

"Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration."

Stan Kelly-Bootle

Technology

2006-07-05T16:19:02Z

"... but the technology is still only a tool. Hutshing remembers the early hue and cry that computer editing would ruin movies; his answer to that always was, 'You mean like the typewriter ruined literature?'"

Afterglow

2006-05-17T03:05:26Z

I'd like the memory of me
to be a happy one,
I'd like to leave an afterglow of
smiles when day is done.
I'd like to leave an echo whispering
softly down the ways,
Of happy times, and laughing times,
and bright and sunny days.
I'd like the tears of those who grieve
to dry before the sun,
Of happy memories that I leave
behind when day is done.

-- by Unknown --

Rocky Style

2006-05-10T05:02:00Z

Yes, I am now a true Philadelphia tourist. I ran up the stairs of the Philadelphia Art Museum and stood in the little footprints labeled "Rocky" at the top. Woot. I wonder how the museum folks feel about the fact that their staircase is more well-known than the museum itself.

Alas, I forgot my camera (the view from up there is quite gorgeous), so I will make another trip before I leave.

Exciting East Coast Adventures

2006-04-26T05:46:42Z

Guess what I got to do today?

Thanks to my Jersey friend Erica for the ticket!!

Creationism vs. Darwinism

2006-04-21T20:54:21Z

I recently finished rereading Speaker for the Dead, one of my favorite books of all time. I looked up Orson Scott Card on the web, and he has a weekly opinion column which, I think, is incredible. His views are rational, open, and offered with penetrating clarity.

His view on what to teach in schools, in regards to Creationism and Darwinism, is the most thorough, logical, and complete account I have read. He concludes the following:

"If both sides would behave like scientists, there wouldn't even be a controversy, because everyone would agree on this statement:

Evolution happens and obviously happened in the natural world, and natural selection plays a role in it. But we do not have adequate theories yet to explain completely how evolution works and worked at the biochemical level."

I strongly, strongly recommend reading the entire article. He is a strongly religious person, yet scientifically competent. He speaks from both sides of the "fence" and puts forth a perfect solution, in my mind.

Check it out:

http://www.ornery.org/essays/warwatch/2006-01-08-1.html

Peace,

-- Brian --

New Phone Number

2005-09-08T03:26:57Z

To anyone reading this journal and who might be interested:

My cell phone number has just changed. E-mail me (Brian.L.Silva at gmail.com) if you'd like the new one (I don't really want to post it on the Internet).

Hope everyone is doing well!

-- Brian --

New Experience #1 and #2

2005-09-03T06:28:27Z

Tonight was a blast, and something very different. Beom-Hee met a bunch of Korean students through a student union, and invited me to go hang out with them tonight. So I went and hung out with a group of about eight people who had just arrived from Korea and who's English was a little rough (they were also slightly tipsy already, too). It was exciting and a bit different to hang out with them. Just the little things, like bowing to say goodbye, and very rapid conversation, even in English. They are all fabulous, fun people.

We then proceeded to take cabs out to the downtown area, where we went to a club called Transit. I was one of two white people there, and the club was packed. It made me a little nervous at first -- I suddenly knew what it's like to be a racial minority in a public place -- but everyone was very friendly, the music was great, and everyone was just having a great time. I'm sure a few people were laughing at my dancing, but I don't care. :-) It was fun to be there, and Beom-Hee got his groove on with a couple fine ladies throughout the night.

And now it is time to rest, but it's good to get some of this stuff under my belt before school starts. So many more experiences remain in the big city. :-)

Goodnight!

Contact Info

2005-09-01T03:55:17Z

To friends reading this journal,

I posted my new contact info on a protected post, so if you would like it make sure you log in to LiveJournal and then read my journal. If somehow I've neglected to list you as a friend, please send a flaming retort to this post so that I can discover the error of my ways!

Thank you! :-)

Update

2005-08-13T09:45:28Z

I'm now back from Yosemite, which was spectacular.

This week I'm booked spending quality time with the most beautiful and wonderful person I have ever known and loved.

Overly-detailed overview of the next few weeks: The week after this I'm re-packing and getting everything together for school. The Thursday of that week we fly out to Philadelphia, then drive down to Baltimore. The next three days we spend in Washington D.C. seeing the sites and visiting old family friends. Then we're back in Philly on the 31st, and I move into housing on the 1st. I spend that weekend at orientations and settling in with my roomie (who is from South Korea), and classes start on the 7th.

From there, who knows what will happen! I'll be posting here fairly frequently...

For now, I desperately need a good rest. Goodnight!

Homeless

2005-08-13T08:03:45Z

I'm not really homeless in the physical sense, but I sure do feel uprooted at the moment.

After a hectic move from Eugene, I had one day to repack and prepare for a week-long backpacking trip with my family that we just returned from. We went all throughout Yosemite, and while I never did have to poop in the woods, my shower tonight was the first I'd had since last Saturday. I have never been so dirty in my life. But, the hikes were absolutely SPECTACULAR and there is something quite liberating about having all you need to survive on your back or available from the natural world. And star-gazing in the wilderness (meaning not even a camp-site -- putting your tent down on a flat spot by a trail) is amazing. We only did that one night of the trip, but it was wonderfully adventurous. I will try to post some pictures of the trip relatively soon.

I tried to avoid using this journal for posts of daily life and use it as more of a canvas for my mind to explode on, but now that I've moved from Eugene I'll probably be using it more like a traditional journal.

Everything happened so fast that I don't think it's really sunk in that I'm not returning to Eugene. I still feel like this is vacation, and at the end I'll return back to Oregon and to where my friends and home are. I miss people in Eugene already, but the full blunt of the fact that I probably won't return to Oregon until spring hasn't hit me at all. I didn't really realize how much of a home Eugene had become until this moment right now. I hope you are all doing wonderfully in Eugene. And to those people that moved away from Eugene, I think I'm experiencing a bit of what you might have felt when you left.

On that note, the way that we are able to keep in touch with modern technology is amazing, and I am beginning to appreciate it more and more. Between e-mail, LiveJournal, AIM, and sites like FaceBook, I feel like it's pretty darn simple to keep in touch with distant friends. Nothing can replace hanging out at Rennie's on a Friday night, or playing ball at the Bean Courts... but I'm very glad we have the ability to keep track of each other and make those times happen when our paths may cross in the future.

So... I tip my hat to the information superhighway and lift my glass to everyone in Eugene to toast your super-awesomeness and thank you for the good times. To everyone who has moved from Eugene, let's keep using the Internet for what it's best at: connecting people.

Gathering

2005-07-26T05:00:16Z

Word up to anyone who reads this journal!

This coming weekend is my last as a resident of Eugene. So, if you are reading this entry, you are invited to come hang out at Kelly and my apartment this Friday at 9:00pm for some good ol' chillin'. Board games, good company, good conversation, and good times. I would love to see all of you before I move away!

Peace.

P.S. e-mail me <bsilva@gladstone.uoregon.edu> if you need directions. :-)

To Those that Actually Read My Journal...

2005-07-04T19:58:11Z

I'm trying to get rid of my desk at the end of this month. It's fairly large and quite nice and in very good shape. If you're interested, please e-mail me (Brian.L.Silva@gmail.com)! Thanks!

Lots of Quotes

2005-07-04T00:54:23Z

"The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there." -- Yasutani Roshi

"May beings all live happily and safe and may their hearts rejoice within themselves." -- Buddha

"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change." -- Buddha

"When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways---either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength." -- Dalai Lama

"Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own." -- Chinese proverb

"How can I, who knows the body to be perishable and the soul to be imperishable, mourn over the separation of body from the soul?" -- Mahatma Gandhi

"People usually fail when they are on the verge of success.
So give as much care to the end as to the beginning;
Then there will be no failure." -- Lao-tzu

"There is a force within that gives you life---Seek that.
In your body there lies a priceless jewel---Seek that.
Oh, wandering Sufi,
if you are in search of the greatest treasure,
don't look outside.
Look within, and seek That." -- Djalal ad-Din Rumi

"Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well." -- Mahatma Gandhi

"One's own thought is one's own world. What a person thinks is what he becomes---that is the eternal mystery. If the mind dwells within the supreme Self, One enjoys undying happiness." -- The Upanishads.

Bleep!

2005-06-16T08:18:11Z

Everybody must watch the film "What the Bleep Do We Know!?"

I have it on indefinite loan from Blockbuster. Call me up and you can borrow it for a couple days. I will deliver it to your house.

An interesting thought from the movie, regarding real principles from the physics of quantum mechanics, about matter itself:

"When you're not looking they are webs of possibility. When you are looking, they are particles of experience." -- Dr. Amit Goswami

Transitions

2005-06-15T07:33:49Z

It's been a long month, month and a half? I have entirely lost track of time for some time now... but it is all done. I made it. The projects got done: not as well as I would have liked, but done all the same. Graduation this weekend was an exciting, fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants ordeal, but I got to see my grandpa, meet his girlfriend, hang out with my parents and my super sister and tour the second floor of the sorority that houses a bunch of the cheerleaders (because my grandpa's girlfriend is an alum from '59).

Today I watched three movies, cleaned my room, and did laundry. A beautiful, relaxing day before I start work tomorrow at Pipeworks. I'm pretty unsure what to expect from this job, but I'm pretty sure it'll be fun and exciting in the least.

The whole process of graduation is interesting. I was hoping to hear some real inspirational thoughts at the ceremonies this weekend, but I didn't really latch on to any of the speakers' speeches. Their focus is always so much on the future, on what will be now that we have finished this educational cycle and are looking at what comes next.

I've been thinking more about what's going on right at this moment, when the graduates are floating between the completion of a degree and the "next step." While the rush of graduation and finals and completing projects makes the whole process seem like we're getting flung out onto the streets, this transitional period is actually pretty exciting.

Richard Register is an ecological designer/activist in Berkeley, and he talks a bit about patterns in nature that designers and architects could find useful and inspiring. One of the most interesting patterns he mentions is that about transitions and boundaries. Thinking about the things we generally find most beautiful in nature, one comes to realize that most are transitions of one type or another. The times of day we revere for their colorful displays and metaphorical power are sunset (dusk) and sunrise (dawn): the transitions between the nighttime and the daytime. The coast is awe-inspiring because it is the transition between land and sea. The colorful displays and beauty of autumn are the result of deciduous trees making the transition from soaking up the summer sun to the bare survival of winter time. And the glorious blossoms of spring time mark the transition for the plant world between the end of winter and the beginning of spring and new life.

This, right now, is our transition time, and it can be a beautiful time. It's like the calm beauty of a sunset and the bright anticipation of a sunrise at the same time. We've accomplished a daunting, important task, and now many roads lie unexplored before us. We know we have great potential and at this point in our lives we get to craft the paths of our lives and not only make the choices, but create the choices. We have a great level of freedom we haven't had for several years.

It's a little unsettling, disorienting. After so many years of focused work and responsibilities in the campus bubble, suddenly there's nothing left to do. What do we do with our time? We now lose access to many of the resources we've taken for granted while studying at the UO. How do we make up for these? Do we need to? The campus has, in a way, become such a familiar home that the lack of commitments on campus leaves me feeling a little empty and lost.

But this unnerving freedom and this floatation is the great challenge. It's easy to flounder and lose sight of dreams and goals now. It's easy to leave it all behind. But it's also a call to prove your convictions. To take whatever you learned academically, or about yourself, or about people, or about the world, and do what you're going to do, do what makes you happy, do what gives you the greatest satisfaction in knowing that you're contributing what you wish to give the world.

It's easy to freak out about this transition time... but I hope people will see it as a beautiful time, like the transitions of the natural world. It may be a long transition, or there might be a short turnaround, it doesn't really matter. I think the most important thing is that we take charge of our lives now and start working towards being everything we want to be and everything we can be. It is definitely that time.

Wiggity!

Parting thoughts for the evening:

"At the center of your being you have the answer; You know who you are and you know what you want." -- Lao-tzu

"If a [person] speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him." -- The Dhammapada

Quotes

2005-05-21T19:32:40Z

"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."

-- Thich Nhat Hanh

"You must not let your life run in the ordinary way; do something that nobody else has done, something that will dazzle the world. Show that [the universal] creative principle works in you."

-- Paramahansa Yogananda

The Future

2005-05-16T16:43:50Z

Holy crap.

I received a letter this weekend from the engineering school at Penn, and I have been accepted into the master's program! I am moving to Philadelphia in August!!

So much to do before then...

Zoooooooom!

Oh, and if you thought you had seen everything geek, check out the visitor the Steward Observatory is hosting right now:

http://aro.as.arizona.edu/archive/2005/r2-d2_on_campus.htm

Peace!

Quotes

2005-04-27T22:28:13Z

"We have to walk in a way that we only print peace and serenity on the Earth. Be aware of the contact between your feet and the Earth. Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet." -- Thich Nhat Hanh

"Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend---or a meaningful day." -- Dalai Lama

"Let us not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless in facing them. Let us not beg for the stilling of the pain but for the heart to conquer it." -- Rabindranath Tagore

. . . on a personal note, I have sent the last of the materials for my grad school application! In about two weeks, I should know my fate for next year . . .

Quotes

2005-04-12T18:25:40Z

"If your eyes are blinded with your worries, you cannot see the beauty of the sunset." --Krishnamurti

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly." -- Buddha

Thoughts that Go Bump in the Night

2005-04-09T11:47:34Z

I think the most important thing in spirituality and religion is the journey towards finding and creating one's own beliefs. It can't be read out of a book and it can't be taught; it has to come from within a person and they have to be the creators of it, so that it truly becomes their's. There is no limit to the forms and ideas this brings about from differing individuals.

My mind has been cutting loose a bit lately on the spirituality and metaphysics, and I feel the need to write it down. If you're reading this, be forewarned that the rest of this post is

Creationism vs. Evolution, the ongoing battle of tradition and observation. I don't quite understand why the two can't coexist. Biology has no clear-cut, undeniable answer to the problem of how life began. Why couldn't it be that God (or any other supernatural force) created the initial conditions that allowed life to begin, grow, and flourish? Why couldn't it be that we, as souls, created these conditions so that we could enter this world? There is room for God, spirituality, and evolution in the history of life.

As science searches for a "beautiful" mathematical solution to the universe, as physicists attempt to explain the entire universe as a purely physical, predictable system of laws, as biology deals with the mechanisms of the bodies we and other creatures inhabit, as psychology creates models of human behavior, many people still believe that what we see, feel, and perceive around us was all created by a supernatural being. Most of us (I venture) here on a college campus in a progressive town reject such an idea, or at least part of it. How could science lie, we ask. To us, science is a religion. We believe in its rationality and truth in the same way that many religious people believe in their own truths. We are really not so different.

Science is about observation, analysis, and extracting conclusions from the acquired data. It is subject to the restrictions of the human means of perception, or the ones we choose to value and trust. Humans have been capable of amazing things, rare occurrences of physical events, connections, and communication that have no place in our limited framework of human capability. Are these events lies? Are people's senses failing them? Or are we failing to see that there is a broader view of who and what we are that we simply choose not to see?

Theories of the universe have been pumping along for a while now. String theory holds great promise as a unifying physical theory that will describe the inner mechanism of the universe at all scales. A wide array of different ideas have been proposed to explain the formation, structure, and evolution of our universe. Many have provided insight and approximate mathematical models to predict the behavior of matter. But none are complete.

The Standard Model describes the properties of all the subatomic particles we have observed (protons, neutrons, electrons, quarks, etc). Yet nobody knows why the properties of these particles are as they are. Many theories have been crafted, including an "evolutionary" model that involves universes being born out of black holes and differing slightly in the parameters of the Standard Model. They are "born" with parameters that allow matter to "clump" together enough form stars, planets, galaxies, and the possibility of life. Without stars, there would be no planets, and there would be no life. Cosmologists and physicists agree that if the parameters of our universe were any different, by an incredibly tiny mount, stars and life would not be possible.

There are plenty of ideas about these situations. It is interesting that few people would be willing to believe in themselves, however. What if the parameters of the universe are as they are because we chose them? People have, for thousands and thousands of years, believed that there is more to us than our physical bodies, our brains, and our minds. Aura, Theta, Soul: it has had many names, in many different religions. What if all of us, collectively as souls, created the universe in its current form so that we could occupy part of it to interact with each other? What if there is an entirely different world out there that we have simply chosen to ignore? Heaven, enlightenment, clear... many religions have different ideas, but many have some idea of another world that we occupy outside of our bodies. Who's to say that we didn't create this place, as souls that live outside of time and space?

Why have we been told for so many years that we are "only human"? Why do so many amazing things happen in this world that we choose to label as "lucky" or "coincidence" so that we can avoid believing that perhaps we can communicate and connect to each other in ways that don't manifest themselves in our five labeled senses? Why do we so fear the supernatural, even if it manifests in a friendly way? Why have we chosen to believe that physical matter is what rules our being? Does it appear that way to us because we are nothing but physical matter, or because we have chosen to be slaves to it? It's easy to believe we are slaves because then we don't have to take responsibility. We believe we are simply suppressed and powerless in the system we have been embedded in, or perhaps we get through this world so we can be free of it in the next. Why must we be nothing but an effect of physical properties? It's interesting to me that some people will do all they can to discount the empowering ideas that even Jesus preached:

"I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, if anyone steadfastly believes in Me, he will himself be able to do things that I do; and he will do even greater things than these, because I go to the Father." [John 14:12]

Jesus had something figured out. No matter what you believe, a man that launches a religious movement like Christianity must have had something figured out about humanity, and taught us what he knew so that we could live better. And perhaps living better means that we can be more in touch with our essence, our aura, our soul, our being, the other part of us that makes us human. And when we are more in touch with ourselves, with our whole selves, we are more powerful than we're taught to believe. Is this not what Jesus is saying?

What if creativity, limitless, powerful creativity and the means to carry it out, is what distinguishes us?

In any case, I'm tired of letting go and letting something else. I'm weary of the idea that we are dealt a hand and there's nothing else in this lifetime. I'm unwilling to accept that there is something better after this life, so we can let this life slide. I'm ready to believe that we can "make a difference", that we can effect real change, that we are in this together, that the conflicts we have can be resolved, that we can each be happy, and that there is something we can do about it all. .

(I finally figured out how to do the LJ cutting... sorry about my past long posts taking up your friends pages!)

So, in the words of Dave Matthews:

...
Just love will open our eyes
Just love will put the hope back in our minds
Much more than we could ever know
Oh, so don't burn the day away
Don't burn the day away

Come sister, my brother
Shake up your bones, shake up your feet
I'm saying open up
And let the rain come pouring in
Wash out this tired notion
That the best is yet to come
But while you're dancing on the ground
Don't think of when you're gone

Love, love, love, what more is there?
'Cause we need the light of love in here
Don't beat your head
Dry your eyes
Let the love in there
There's bad times
But that's okay
Just look for love in it

And don't burn the day away...

Too much fun...

2005-04-07T08:52:43Z

Alright, this quiz looked too much fun to pass up. Thanks Alex. :-)

iTunes Quiz

Total songs: 927

Sort by Song Title
First: 'Anoku Gonda' - Solomon Linda and Evening Birds
Last: Young - Nickel Creek

Sort by Time
First: Hot Rocks - GGB (boo yah!)
Last: Tweezer - Phish (over 30 minutes on this baby!)

Sort by Album
First: Saturday Night and Sunday Morning - Phil Collins
Last: 'Begadany Li' (from Worlds of Music Disc 3)

Sort by Artist
First: Appalachian Spring - Aaron Copland
Last: Don Giovanni/La Ci Darem La Mano - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (MEGA Exam has taken over my computer!)

Search "sex," how many songs show up? 1

Search "death," how many songs show up? zero!

Search "love," how many songs show up? 19

Search "fuck," how many songs show up? zero!

Hmmm... I gotta diversify a little bit, it seems...

Goodnight, peace, happiness.

Philadelphia

2005-03-31T04:46:41Z

Philadelphia

City Hall
Post Office
Independence Hall (where the Declaration of Independence was drafted and originally read to the public.)
Independence Hall clocks

Univ. of Pennsylvania

The Main Quad (between the student union, the administration building, and the College of Arts & Sciences)
The Student Union
A Frat House (no joke)
Freshman Dorms
A Dorm Building (there are 4-5 of these on campus)

And the picture attached to this post is part of the administration building. :-)

Quotes!

2005-03-28T17:19:07Z

"Happiness is your nature. It is not wrong to desire it. What is wrong is seeking it outside when it is inside." -- Ramana Maharishi

"If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work." -- Thich Nhat Hanh

Spring Break WOOT!

2005-03-18T10:43:56Z

Happy Spring Break! The wild winter term has finally come and passed. I hope everyone survived intact. I usually use this journal for posting thoughts, but I'm gonna do the journaling thing tonight.

This term has been tough. Not because of school, but because of the combination of all situations and making some big decisions about what to do next. I got to talk to several people at Pixar, and I've found a great path to get there. But I've also been presented an amazing opportunity here in Eugene that's very hard to turn down. Still... getting into the animated film industry has been something I've wanted to do for years and years. I think this is my best chance.

So, Kelly and I are heading down to California tomorrow and then flying to Philadelphia on Saturday to go visit Penn. They have a fantastic interdisciplinary computer graphics program there that is geared towards the industry. I'll get to take fine arts, computer science, visual communication, and specific 3D animation classes towards a master's degree. The folks at Pixar told me that the graduates from that program are typically very attractive for hiring.

So, we're going to tour Philly for a few days, and then on Tuesday I'm meeting the head of the department in the engineering school to talk about the program, and he's going to show me some of the facilities (including the live motion capture facility :-)). I can't wait.

I haven't been to the east coast since I was 3 years old, and Philadelphia is such a historic place. Penn was the first university founded in the U.S.! So just seeing that campus oughta be very interesting. People tell me it's a rough city, but I can deal with "rough" if it also has life and vibrancy.

Anyhow, I must clean and pack for the trip tomorrow. I will take lots of pictures and probably post some online. :-)

I hope everyone has a fabulous, refreshing, meditative, exciting, cleansing, relaxing, creative, spiritual, constructive, peaceful and restful spring break!

Until we meet again, goodnight!